Howard Lynsmore, a 38 year old Sears’ photo studio clerk of St. Catherine’s Ontario was arrested last week under suspected connections to a child pornography ring. Lynsmore was said to match the description of a suspect but the charges were dropped soon after as police claimed that Lynsmore, “just looked like a pedophile.” Officials have apologized for the incident but some say that his arrest is symptomatic of a larger problem of mustache profiling.
Lynsmore was at work helping a young family of five when police interrupted.
“It was a normal day until the arrest. I was squeaking my small rubber cucumber at a customer’s four-year-old son when my hand was taken from behind and put into cuffs,” Lynsmore stated in an interview.
Police proceeded to arrest him while on the job, reading the charges out-loud to those within earshot. Though the charges were eventually dropped, Sears fired Lynsmore on the spot and banned him from the store chain for life.
Wallace Birmingham is an activist and leader of NAMBLA, the National Association of Mustached Brothers who are Law Abiding. He argues that this kind of story is not uncommon amongst the mustached community.
“Lynsmore is an average working man. He pays his taxes. He goes to church. The only reason for the arrest was the unfair profiling of men of mustaches. It’s a clear case of facial profiling!” Birmingham Stated.
Carl Benson, of Toronto has suffered discrimination not unlike Lynsmore’s. Though Benson has never been arrested, he says people just don’t trust you when you are a man with a mustache.
“I can’t walk in front of a playground without getting dirty looks,” Benson said. “One time a woman grabbed her child’s supple bottom from the swing and started yelling ‘stop leering at my children’ then ‘I’m calling the cops you pervert!’. Those words leave wounds that never heal.”
Mr. Benson has also experienced numerous close calls with the authorities.
“I’ve had run-ins with the police on several occasions. Just last week my friend and I were pulled over for moving too slowly through a school zone. The officer came up to us and I forgot to hide my stash. As soon as he saw it I knew I would be fighting an uphill battle.”
The police bombarded him with questions for over an hour. “I took offense to some of them,” Added Benson.
“They think that just because I have a mustache, the rope, duct tape and candy in my backseat must be something other than my remodeling equipment and lunch.”
Mr. Birmingham of NAMBLA claims that media stereotyping is to blame for the public and police view of mustached men.
“We have been under the shaved devil’s thumb for too long. Every time you see a child killer or a pedophile in a movie, what does he have? A mustache! It’s no surprise that every time an APB goes out for these charges they’re after a man of mustache.”
The feeling within the mustached community is one of frustration, fear, and bewilderment. Those feelings are echoed in Howard Lynsmore’s voice. Now jobless, he now wonders about his future.
“Now that I’m out of work with bills to pay, I don’t know what I’ll do. I guess its back to my old job at the Boy Scouts. At least there I know I’m with friends.”
