According to a new study commissioned by the National Society of Families for Drug Awareness and Education and Families, marijuana played a large role in the assassination of John F. Kennedy, the thirty-fifth President of the United States.
The study, released yesterday, revealed that “many ties” had been found between the THC-producing herb often smoked at rock concerts and what many consider to be the day America lost its innocence.
“After very careful and thorough analysis of the information we gathered, it was obvious that pot played a role [in the assassination],” announced Gregory Boyd, the head of the research team behind the study. “There is no doubt in my mind that marijuana killed JFK.”
Anti-drug groups such as the NSFDAEF are pointing to the study as proof that marijuana is a very dangerous drug that poses a grave threat to society.
“How many more Presidents have to die before people realize that pot is not harmless?” asked NSFDAEF spokesperson Leonard Colby. “It’s what we’ve been saying all along: Weed Kills.”
The NSFDAEF has joined forces with Families for National Drug Control and the American Family Morality Council of Moral American Families to promote the findings of the study. Numerous ad campaigns are already underway, with more planned in the future.
“We at the NSFDAEF feel these campaigns will have a much better effect on public opinion than our past attempts at linking marijuana to terrorism and dead children.” Colby said. “With this study, I believe we have found our own magic bullet.”
Marijuana legalization supporters have called the study “ludicrous” and “biased,” claming that the results of the study were tainted by the agenda of the group that commissioned it. Colby dismissed these allegations as the desperate ramblings of a fringe minority.
“Those people will do anything to legalize their death plant,” he said. “They’ve even gone so far as to claim that marijuana is not chemically addictive, has medicinal merits, and is less dangerous than alcohol or cigarettes. Have you ever heard anything so absurd?”
They didn’t even mention one the the so called “many ties”. was LHO high? i doubt it, that would have surfaced 40 years ago. This brainwashed moron, involved in a deceitful, politically charged organization spews nothing more than garbage. Marijuana is NOT chemically addictive, it HAS medical merits, and it doesn’t even compared to two drugs that claim the lives of over 500,000 people a year. You’re right, I haven’t heard anything more absurd.
is this some kind of satire or are you actually serious about this “news”?
I am reporting this group’s double use of the word Families to the Department of Redundancy Department.
I expect that this article will be much cited by DARE instructors, the ONDCP, and CASA.
Yeah, I’m sure.
Those people are nuts; I bet they only released the conclusion and not the actual study. Are these people insane? I would like to see their proof to back up such a rediculous statement.